A secret
by MissSwede
Summary: Many years ago something happened in Newport that Caleb Nichol swore to take with him to the grave. Well now he is dead and the secret he and his wife left behind is comming out...


**A/N: **So this is my first attempt to a OC fic and a song fic so please be kind and I know it is a bit weird but it will make more sense later on.

_Disclaimer:_ I do not anything related to the OC except for the Season 1 Box and the song is Two beds And a Coffee Machine by Savage Garden and sadly I do not own that either.

* * *

_And she takes another step_

_Slowly she opens the door_

_Check that he is sleeping_

There had been screaming. Again. He had come home drunk. Again. She was tired. A bouncy seven year old, who refused to eat his dinner and go to bed, insisting on that he'd stay up and watch TV. An aggressive eleven year old, who had been in trouble more times this last year than most people were in their entire lifetime. And now there was the little baby girl. Just one week old. She couldn't help it she cried, she was a baby. But all of this had pissed her already pissed husband of and now she was standing by the bathroom sink applying her make up, trying to cover her bruised face and her red eyes. She didn't know what to do. Quietly she went to her bedroom, their bedroom, peeking through the door and seeing her husband now passed out on the bed, on top of the covers.

"_You come home to our children so drunk that you can't even get into bed properly" _

Again she wondered how she had gotten here. How _they_ had gotten here. It hadn't always been like this. Three years ago they had been happy, her husband had a job three years ago, her kids had been happy three years ago. Jack had good grades three years ago and David used to play imaginary games with his toys. There were no games now, no good grades, no one smiled, and no one laughed.

"_We can't keep living like this. We need to get out of here, away from him. He is destroying us._"

_Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor_

_Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away_

_Pack up the kids in the car_

_Another bruise to try and hide_

_Another alibi to write_

She walked around the house, quietly not to wake him. Picked up a few things, brought out a bag, packed some clothes, diapers, and made some sandwiches. She grabbed a few bottles of water before she went to wake up Jack. He started getting dressed, he knew the drill, this wasn't the first time. She helped David with his clothes; he too remained quiet for once. Jack took the car keys and went out with David helping him into the car, even in all this misery she had to smile. Jack loved his brother and sister and no matter how much trouble he got himself into she still her little boy.

_Another ditch in the road_

_You keep moving_

_Another stop sign_

_You keep moving on_

_And the years go by so fast_

_Wonder how I ever made it through_

_And there are children to think of_

_Baby's asleep in the backseat_

_Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare_

"_Please don't cry, baby girl, please don't. You'll wake you daddy."_

The baby slept peacefully as the car pulled out of the driveway and headed God knows where. David fell asleep. Jack turned his head every other minute to make sure his brother and sister were ok. Eventually he fell asleep too. Now it was just her. Alone. In the dark and she didn't know where she was headed but still she kept going. Because it was all she could do. After hours she came to a cheep hotel. Carefully she woke up Jack and David, telling them that they were safe, that everything would be ok now. She brought her three children with her into the sleazy hotel and Jack and David fell asleep on the bed. The baby slept in her car seat. And herself she just sat there in the dark, watching her children sleep.

" _They look like angels, why can't I give them the world? What happened? What did I do? What did they do to deserve this?_"

_But the mind is an amazing thing_

_Full of candy dreams and new toys in another cheap hotel_

_Two beds and a coffee machine_

_But there are groceries to buy_

_And she knows she'll have to go home_

It wasn't until dawn that she fell asleep herself, dreams of wealth and happy faces, healthy children with more toys than they could coun,t filled her mind. Then there was the scream, she could hear it. Soon the first blow would come, she knew it, and so she kept her eyes closed. But it never came, instead she could feel a small hand on her shoulder gently shaking her body, and then she heard David's small voice

"Mommy, I think she is hungry."

Ah, the screaming wasn't coming from her husband, it was her baby. Slowly she opened her eyes. Saw Jack rocking her trying to keep her quiet. She got up and took the baby in her arms, the cried intensified before the baby got settled and started feeding. She gave her boys the sandwiches she had made last night. Then reality decided to make a visit, she had no money, everything she had she had used to pay the room with and now she had no food. The boys would be hungry again in a few hours, and she wouldn't be able to feed them. She would have to go back.

Of course he would be mad, take it out on her and then there would be yet another mark to hide from the world. She looked up at her children, he would punish them too. How she wished she could spare them the pain, take their share as well. She looked down at her now sleeping baby, sighted as she realised what she could do. She couldn't save all of them. But she could save her baby. She could keep her from him. She could give her the life all of them deserved. He wouldn't notice if the baby didn't come home, he had been drunk ever since she had gotten home from the hospital. She wasn't even sure that he had noticed that they had a new child.

"_I can save you. It's because I love you that I'll give you up. Remember that I love you. Don't ever forget that."_

She walked into the hospital early that afternoon; Jack and David were still in the car, she had told them that the baby had gotten sick and that is why they were here. They didn't know her plan. She went to the nursery, walked up to what looked like a nurse.

"Hi" Her voice trembled, she didn't want to do this, but she knew she had to, now before she lost her courage and she could feel it draining by the second. "Tell her I'm sorry, that this is because I love her." She handed the baby to the nurse.

"I gotta go"

"Wait, what...why?" The woman looked confused and she didn't blame her, it probably wasn't everyday that people dropped of babies at the hospital here in Newport.

"I can't take care of her, it is too much. Here's her birth certificate and a letter it explains everything. I have to go now." And she stormed out bursting into tears before she even got to the car and still thanking God that she hadn't taken the birth certificate out of her purse yet.

"Why are you crying Mommy?"

Yeah why was she crying? She cried because she lost her baby, she cried because she couldn't save herself, because she couldn't save her boys but mostly she cried because she had to go back.

_Another ditch in the road_

_You keep moving_

_Another stop sign_

_You keep moving on_

_And the years go by so fast_

_Wonder how I ever made it through_

_Another bruise to try and hide_

_Another alibi to write_

_Another lonely highway in the black of night_

_But there's hope in the darkness_

_You know you're going to make it_

_Another ditch in the road_

_Keep moving_

_Another stop sign_

_You keep moving on_

_And the years go by so fast_

_Silent fortress built to last_

_Wonder how I ever made it_

But she knew she would make it, because her baby was safe and there was no way her husband was going to lay a hand on her.

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Please leave a review and tell me what you thought…and if you think I should continue it. 


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